Joke #7268

Q: What do you call a buncha Blondes in a freezer? A: Frosted Flakes.
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Dustin and Jane (both blonde) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?” The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”
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Q: What do Barbie and Paris Hilton have in common? A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.
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A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road when her car breaks down. She goes to the nearest farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, "My car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until I can get some help tomorrow?" "Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke." The blonde looks through the screen door and sees two men standing behind the farmer. "Okay," she says. After going to bed, the woman begins to get a little hot thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?" They say, "Huh?" She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers." She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go at it all night long. Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth. Jed says, "Luke? You remember that blonde woman that came by here forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?" "Yeah," says Luke, "I remember." "Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" asks Jed. "Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not." "Me neither," says Jed. "Let's take these things off."
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Q. To a blonde, what is long and hard? A. Grade 4.
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A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York. When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde,"I'm sorry. Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you please move to your seat." The blonde replied,"Im blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." The attendant said,"That's fine miss, but you'll have to go to your seat." The blonde responded again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response. The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde. The captain went and whispered something in the blonde's ear and the blonde immeadiately got up and went to her seat in coach. The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move. He said, "I just told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to New York."
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A blonde walks in the ice cream parlor and orders a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk tells her that he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, just vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a quart of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a half gallon of chocolate ice cream. The clerk then asks her how she spells van as in vanilla. She says, V-A-N. He then asks her how she spells straw as in strawberry. She says, S-T-R-A-W He then asks her how she spells fuck as in chocolate. After a while she says there is no fuck in chocolate. THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU
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I see a blonde walking down the street with a rope tied around her waist and I ask, "Why do you have a rope tied around your waist?" And the blonde says, "Because im trying to commit suicide." I ask, "why don't you just tie it around your neck?" She says, "I already tried that but I couldn't breathe."
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Q: Why are two blonde girls fighting on a motorcycle? A: They are fighting because they both want to sit next to the window.
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After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
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Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? A: She wanted to gain weight!
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