A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her. The man in the car says to her, "What do you have in the bag?" The blonde replies: "I have chickens!" The man thinks for a moment and says, "If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?" The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, "Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"
Why do blondes clean their hair in the sink? Because that’s where your supposed to wash vegetables.
She was so blonde that she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
What's a difference between a blond and a mosquito? once you smack a mosquito it stops sucking
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!
A young man presents his fiancee to his parent. At the table, the girl needs to have a fart. After a couple of minutes they can feel a smell... The father-in-law says: Rex...! Happy that her future father-in-law blamed the dog under her chair, the girl relaxes. After a while she gives another and the father-in-law says very angry: Rex, be careful... With a very big relief, the girl farts again. Father-in-law says: Rex! Get out of there she’ll shit on you!
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, "Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
Q: What does a blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked at the balcony? A: The blond girl told him to come outside
Two blondes wait at a bus stop. A bus pulls up and opens the door. One of the blondes leans inside and asks the driver, "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?" The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm sorry." The other blonde leans inside and asks, "How about ME?"
A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?" The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off. Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?" The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!"
Q: Why are two blonde girls fighting on a motorcycle? A: They are fighting because they both want to sit next to the window.