Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...
There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman - before and after marriage.
Scientists have finally discovered what is wrong with the female brain. On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left.
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender… "Pour me a stiff one – just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees." "Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?" "She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'"
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly... On a broomstick. We're flexible like that.
Pal: "My advice for your date is, make her think you're well travelled, girls love it!" Me: "Guess how many buses it took me to get here."
This black woman was vastly overweight, and I mean MASSIVE and she went to see the doctor about her weight. She said to him, "Have you got any dieting remedies or anything that can help me loose weight?" The doctor replies, "Yes we do, all you need to do is shake your head from left too right, simple eh?!" She says, "WOW that's amazing, um... when do I do it?" The doctor says, "Next time your ordered food."
Look up "rib" in the dictionary and it says "To vex, irritate or annoy." Look up "rib" in the Bible and it says "Woman." Coincidence?
These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader’s store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year." The trader got the gear together and on top of each one’s supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole. The guys said "What’s that board for?" The trader said, "Well, where you’re going there are no women and you might need this." They said "No way! We’ve sworn off women for life!" The trader said, "Well. take the boards with you, and if you don’t use them. I’ll refund your money next year." "Okay," they said and left. Next year this guy came into the trader’s store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year." The trader said, "Weren’t you in here last year with a partner?" "Yeah" said the guy. "Where is he?" asked the trader. "I shot him" said the guy. "Why?" "I caught him in bed with my board."