A guy goes to the store to buy condoms.
"Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks.
"No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
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Yo mama so ugly, Instagram tagged her selfies 'explicit content'.
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Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue?
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How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?
Even the pool table has no balls.
A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?"
A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp."
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Yo Mama is so fat and ugly she and Godzilla are twins.
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you?
A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!"
The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me.
So I put my hand around my kid and told him
"Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears.
What am I?
Ugly!
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