A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume? A: Because they're ugly and they stink.
A little while later Johnny's dad hears a commotion coming from Johnny's bedroom, he rushes in and is horrified to see Johnny shagging his gran! Johnny just looks at him and says "not so funny when its your mum is it ?"
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.
Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world? A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
Your momma so ugly her face is used as an x ray in mortal kombat X.
Yo mama so damn ugly,her mom throw her out the hospital window when she was born and said"You ugly ass bitch".
How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table has no balls.
Yo mama so ugly that she doesn't need a costume for Halloween.
Bertie comes sadly to his mommy and says, "Mom, the kids have been mean to me. They keep teasing me that my feet are too big. Please tell me honestly. Are my feet to big?" "Of course not, Bertie. Now go put your shoes in the garage, the dinner is ready."