Joke #739

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."

Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume? A: Because they're ugly and they stink.

Yo' Mama is so ugly, I asked if her face hurt because it was killing me.

Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home. Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn." Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?" The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."

Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".

A chubbier woman: "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" Mirror: "Kindly move aside. I can't see anything."

What do you call an ugly rabbit that sits on someone's forehead? Unsightly facial hare.

When the first legal brothel opened here in Brissy I got the OK from the missus to check it out and have myself a good time. I was in there like a flash and as I was the only client at that time I has my choice of the buffet on offer. I chose a gorgeous tall slim redhead but before moving off to the rooms she stated that she wont work with anyone unless they are 10 inches. Being a little embarrassed as you would be I asked her politely to sit back down. I mean after all, no matter how hot they were I wasn't about to cut 2 inches of my manhood for anyone...

Bertie comes sadly to his mommy and says, "Mom, the kids have been mean to me. They keep teasing me that my feet are too big. Please tell me honestly. Are my feet to big?" "Of course not, Bertie. Now go put your shoes in the garage, the dinner is ready."

Yo mama is so ugly the mirror did not make an reflection.

A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man.