I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears. What am I? Ugly!
Yo mama's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair.
"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!" The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
When I reached bus stop I saw a pretty blonde who was gazing me. First I supposed perhaps she loves me so I also watched her and twinkled her. Then I understood she has farted and is looking me in order whether I would feel or not.
Yo' daddy's so ugly, when he looked out the window he was arrested for mooning!
Yo Momma so fat and ugly that when she applied to become a movie star she got the part "Godzilla".
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her for Halloween!
I am a dog And you are a flower. I lift my leg up And give you a shower.
Guy takes his wife to the Doctor... The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS." "What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?" "Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."