Joke #7193

I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears. What am I? Ugly!
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Yo mama so ugly when she smiles her face hurts.
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Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.
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Yo Momma is so ugly that she scares blind people!
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Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from
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One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock when he noticed that one of his cows was completely cross-eyed. He called up a veterinarian friend of his who told him to bring in his cow. The vet took one look at the cow, stuck a tube up the cow's butt, and blew into the tube until the cow's eyes straightened out. The vet charged the farmer a hundred bucks, and the farmer went home happy. About a week later, the cow's eyes were cross-eyed again, but this time the farmer figured he could probably take care of it himself. So he called his hired hand over, and together they put a tube up the cow's butt. The farmer put his lips to the tube and started to blow. Strangely, nothing happened, so he asked his hired hand to give it a try. The hired hand removed the tube, turned it around, put it in the cow's butt and started to blow. "What are you doing?" asked the farmer, horrified. "Well, I wasn't gonna use the side that YOU had put your lips on."
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At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."
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Yo Mama so ugly, that when she entered a haunted house, she came out with an application.
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"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?" "Shut up and eat your corn flakes."
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A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
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Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin? A: Relative humidity.
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