Joke #7193

I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears. What am I? Ugly!

Yo Mama so hairy, when she shaved her legs, your dad thought she got a new carpet.

Yo mama's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair.

Why can't girls play hockey? Because their pads can't last three periods.

Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".

Yo' Mama is so ugly, she has to sneak up to water fountains to get a drink.

Yo mamas teeth are so yellow she helped Dorothy get to the emerald city.

Guy takes his wife to the Doctor... The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS." "What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?" "Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."

Bob walks into a public bathroom and notices a guy with no arms standing next to a urinal. As Bob takes care of his business, he wonders how the poor soul is going to take a leak. Bob finishes and heads for the door, but figures he should ask the man if he needs help. "Oh yes please!?" the man cries. "You have a kind heart, sir," says the man with no arms. But as Bob goes ahead, unzips the man, and pulls his willy out, he encounters all kinds of mold, red bumps, moles, scabs, scars, and other unpleasant-looking things. The armless man asks Bob to kindly point it... then shake it, put it back and zip it. So Bob, gathers his courage, shuts his eyes and does so. "Thank you very much, sir!" says the armless man. "No problem," says Bob "but what the hell is wrong with your penis?" The guy pulls pulls his arms out of his shirt and says "I don't know, but I ain't touching it!"

Yo mama so ugly that the football team yelled at her to get out of the bus.

Yo mama so hairy when she went to space the aliens thought she was chubacco.