I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears. What am I? Ugly!
Yo mama's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair.
You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
Yo mamma so ugly she scares Chuck Norris!
"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?" "Shut up and eat your corn flakes."
A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast." And the doctor says, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt." Two months later she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was." But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down up and down... and he asks, "But where did you get this twitch?" The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch, I'm chewing bubble gum."
A nice respectable lady with a savory smell of perfume got on the bus and took a seat beside me. After some moments I dared to ask her: "Excuse me lady do you mind me please to ask you what is the name of this perfume and where did you buy it from? I want to buy one for my wife." The lady responded: "It is Chanel and from Paris." After about ten minutes later I felt a strong wind in my belly so I slowly blew it out. Some seconds later she broke and said: "Offf... what is this smell my God"? I said: "Gar lic and from Gilroy city in California."
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
Yo mama is so ugly when she went to the thirteenth floor they got scared of her.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.