Chuck Norris never gets dirty.
The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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Chuck Norris made Dirty Harry's day.
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Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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