Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
Chuck Norris made Dirty Harry's day.