Joke #8593

Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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Chuck Norris made Dirty Harry's day.
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The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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A watched pot boils instantly for Chuck Norris.
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Little Johnny was at school one day, when he noticed that there was a large crowd of kids gathered around Little Billy. Little Johnny walks up to Little Billy and says "Hey what's all the excitement about", Little Billy says "Just showing everyone my new watch". Little Johnny goes "Wow, that's a cool watch where did you get it?" Little Billy says "Well, I walked in on my mom and dad having sex over the weekend, and my dad was so mad he gave me spanking and sent me to my room". The next day, he feel guilty about what he had done and went and bought me this cool Watch. This gives Little Johnny a good idea. Later that night, when Little Johnny was sent to bed, he stayed up listening and waiting for his mom and dad to go to bed. Once he starts hearing noises coming from their room he runs down the hall, throws their bedroom door open, and yells "I want a watch!" His dad looks over to Johnny and says "Well okay, but sit in the corner and be quiet!"
Vote: has 78.00 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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Based on statistics, the most used s*xual position among married couples is doggy style... The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.
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