Joke #7526

Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
Vote:
has 71.85 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: accountant, life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
Vote:
has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: accountant, life, money, tax
Never make the same mistake twice. There are so many new ones, try a different one each day.
Vote:
has 76.32 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
My son asked me today, "Dad, what music did you like growing up?" "Led Zeppelin," I replied. "Who?" he said. "Yeah, I liked them too."
Vote:
has 57.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dad, life
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy a ticket and watch as the three engineers only buy one ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a rest room and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Tickets, please!" The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The accountants see this and agree it is a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy one ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer. When they board the train all three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Tickets, please!"
Vote:
has 82.66 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, travel, work
Why don’t all the managers go into holiday at once? So people can’t see that the company works without them..
Vote:
has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
Vote:
has 78.06 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: geek, life, math, science
So the buddhist pulls a gun out of his coat and the vendor says, "Whoa whoa whoa, what about inner peace?". The Buddhist responds "This is my inner piece".
Vote:
has 76.32 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
Vote:
has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: accountant, age, husband, kids, wife
In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was Made in China.
Vote:
has 83.96 % from 495 votes. More jokes about: god, heaven, life
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
Vote:
has 76.89 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: accountant, animal, kids, tax