Joke #7526

Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
Vote:
has 71.85 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: accountant, life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, life, money, tax
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: accountant, geography, money, Santa, tax
An American goes to the train station so he can start his big trip. He notices there a machine with the indication: "Put A Dollar in the Slot and the Machine will Tell you who you are!" Curious, he puts the dollar inside the slot and he waits. The machine suddenly sounds; "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." The man blacked out with the machine's ability. So, he decided to trick the machine. He wore a fake mustache and putted another dollar inside the slot. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago," says the machine. "But it's impossible!" screamed the man, acquiring a maniac need to trick the machine. He ran to the toilet and disguised as an Arab. Then, he did the same routine. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." Furious then, he disguises as a woman and puts the dollar as usual in the slot. -You're John Bull, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall, 90 kilos and with your bullshits you.. lost the train!
Vote:
has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, travel
It's 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
Vote:
has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: accountant, time
Stevie Wonder recently told his wife that he wants to see other people.
Vote:
has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, wife
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the hell you are doing?!" "Well," said the guy, "you see, I’m a chiropractor and I could see that you were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just can’t help practicing my art!" "That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!" the guy replied. "I work for the IRS. Do you see me screwing the guy in front of me?"
Vote:
has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, work
Q: Why do accountants make good lovers? A: They're great with figures.
Vote:
has 81.35 % from 742 votes. More jokes about: accountant, nerd, sex
A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet. The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
Vote:
has 52.31 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: beauty, birthday, life, love, marriage
Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion? A: Jail.
Vote:
has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: accountant, prison, tax
An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
Vote:
has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: accountant, work