What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
On a cold day of January, I went to visit one of my friends in his house; it was snowing and my friend urged me to stay the night with him. They had only 2 rooms one for themselves and other for their baby; so I suggested to rest in baby' room. In middle of the night, I need WC which was in the garden and was so difficult for me to go there. I thought some moments then decided to change my place with the baby. I did so. And pissed in the place of baby; when I returned to change again I saw that the baby had shitted in my bed!
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying. Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby. I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.
Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.