What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying. Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby. I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.
Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
How do you unload a truck of zombie babies? With a pitchfork.
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.