Why is a man different from a PC?
You only have to tell the PC once.
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A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" she replied, "There certainly is!
My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box.
She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”
What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes?
She sticks it in the microwave.
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer?
A: This won't hurt a byte
Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.
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Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women?
A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Why are men like laxatives?
They can irritate the s**t out of you.
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Two couples are playing cards. John accidentally drops some cards on the floor.
When he bends down under the table to pick them up, he notices that Bill's wife isn't wearing any underwear.
Later, John goes into the kitchen to get some refreshments.
Bill's wife follows him and asks, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?"
John admits that he did.
She says, "You can have it, but it will cost you $100."
They decide that John should come to her house around 2 p.m. on Friday while Bill is at work.
On Friday, John arrives at 2 p.m.
He pays Bill's wife $100.
They go to the bedroom, have sex and then John leaves.
When Bill comes home at 6 p.m., he asks his wife, "Did John come by this afternoon?"
Reluctantly, she replies, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes."
Next Bill asks, "Did he give you $100?"
She thinks, "Oh hell, he knows!" Finally she says, "Well, yes, he did give me $100."
"Good," Bill says.
"John came by the office this morning and borrowed $100 from me. He said that he would stop by our house on his way home and pay me back."