Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Who's the biggest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
Chuck Norris was once shot. The bullet died.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.