Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises?
So oxygen can get into their brains.
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What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
B. Penicillin.
A real man would never cry in public unless:
He watched a movie in which a heroic dog dies to save his master.
Or if Heidi klum unbuckled her shirt.
Or if he accidentally dropped crates full of beer.
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.
They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach.
But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
Vote:
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men?
A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle."
His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..."
He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night?
He controls himself.
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom."
The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.
The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?"
The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."