Joke #8261

Q: How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat? A: Who knows it's never been done.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What is height of Stupidity? A: A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man enters a store and says: "15 litres of wine please." "Did you bring a container for this? " "You're speaking to it."
Vote: has 78.77 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, men, wine
Why does a penis have a hole at the end? So guys can be open-minded.
Vote: has 62.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
God said to Adam, "I’ve got some good news and some bad news. First the good news. I have given you a brain and a p***s. The bad news… I’ve only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"
Vote: has 87.17 % from 1067 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, men, sex, time
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence. Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?" The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical. With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick. Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is." The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly. Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?" The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."
Vote: has 79.93 % from 85 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: hospital, men, time, weather
I can honestly say in all our years of friendship, I have never heard anyone question John’s intelligence, to be perfectly honest I never heard anyone even mention any intelligence on John’s part.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds? A. Bonds mature.
Vote: has 34.87 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. "You need to stop masturbating so much," the optometrist says. "Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?" The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's making the other patients very uncomfortable."
Vote: has 84.48 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, doctor, masturbation, men
How are men like diplomas? You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you don't know what to do with it.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, men