Q: How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat?
A: Who knows it's never been done.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach.
But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
Vote:
A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition.
"What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman.
"Well, I guess I'm going to get a drivers license", he answered.
"Oh, don't listen to him," said a woman in the passenger seat, "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."
Then the guy in the backseat said, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."
At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?
Boy: "Do you like parties?"
Girl: "Yes, why?"
Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working.
He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock.
The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP".
I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
John it’s alright muttering a few words in the church and finding yourself married, but if you mutter a few words in your sleep you might find yourself divorced.
Q: Why are men so happy?
A: Because ignorance is bliss.
Why did the blonde have a sore belly button?
Because there are blonde men too!
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives.
Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does."
Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft."
Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?"
Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." Looking puzzeled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?"
"Because… he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box."