If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?
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What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player?
Bear Jordan.
What is a nigger?
Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
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Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup."
Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100?
Because when she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football.
During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning.
But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game.
When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede,
“Where were you during the first half?”
He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
There are two types of ostriches - Grey and Blue.
Grey ones scared hide their head in the sand.
The Blue ones sit in the bushes waiting for this moment.
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny?
He keeps coming and coming and coming...
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