Yesterday I saw a man trying to chat up a cheetah.
‘Hello,’ I thought.
‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’
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What do you call it when one rabbit challenges another rabbit to hop across a forty-yard canyon?
A hare dare.
What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits?
A cud thud.
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy.
They see two dogs going at it.
The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?"
The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy."
That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama!
The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?"
He says "Oh, were making it a baby."
The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?
All the men stood up.
'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?'
All the women stood up.
'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn' t belong to them?'
Half the women stood up.
'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?'
Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.
The priest fainted.
What do you call the everyday routines of rabbits?
Rabbits habits.
Why did the gag-writer turn green?
Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!
What's a rabbits favorite musical?
Hare.
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
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Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.