Yesterday I saw a man trying to chat up a cheetah. ‘Hello,’ I thought. ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’
A hippo once told me he hated gangs, but then he joined one What a HippoCrip.
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
A man enters a little country store and sees a sign reading, ‘Danger! Beware of Dog’. He then sees an old hound dog lying asleep on the floor. ‘Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?’ says the man to the shopkeeper. ‘Yep,’ replies the shopkeeper. ‘Before I posted that sign, everyone kept tripping over him.’
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet? A: They never want to log off.
What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
One day, two skunks named In and Out, asked their mother if they could go into a store and play. Their mother said yes, but only for an hour. An hour later, only Out came back. Their mother said, "Out, you'd better go back in and find In." About 10 seconds later, Out comes back with In. Their mother asked how Out found In so quickly. "Easy." Out said. "In-stincts."
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales? He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.