Yesterday I saw a man trying to chat up a cheetah.
‘Hello,’ I thought.
‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’
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Q: Why do cops arrest black people?
A: Because monkeys belong in cages.
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Curiosity didn't kill the cat.
Chuck Norris did.
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What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil?
Pre-tanned leather.
What do dinosaurs put on their floors?
Rep-tiles.
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house.
He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, naked again?"
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
Q. How does a frog confuse you?
A. When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights?
10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
