A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him.
He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What’s happening?"
The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the zoo."
"Oh my, which way is it heading?"
"Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?"
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Lefty.
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?
Udder chaos.
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying?
Squid pro quo.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache?
A bad mood.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
A Bosnian catches a goldfish.
The goldfish says: "Let me go and I will grant you one wish."
The Bosnian says: "No way, I'll take you to the pawn shop – gold is gold."
Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
Vote:
Yo momma is so hairy when she lifts her armpit up it looks like she's got Bigfoot in a headlock.
Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks?
A: Professional courtesy.