A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him.
He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What’s happening?"
The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the zoo."
"Oh my, which way is it heading?"
"Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?"
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Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?
A: He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds.
One of the boys said, "What is that?"
"They're smart pills," said the other boy.
"Eat them and they'll make you smarter."
So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap."
"See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
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Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
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What do you get when you cross a frog and a rabbit?
A rabbit that says, "Ribbit."
When do rabbits have buck teeth?
When their parents won't get them braces.
How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk?
A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.
Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags?
A:Mmmm, sandwiches!
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.