Joke #6406

A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What’s happening?" The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the zoo." "Oh my, which way is it heading?" "Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?"

Teacher: "Who can tell me 5 wild animals?" Little Johnny: "2 lions & 3 wolves."

What are cat-erpillars afraid of? Dog-erpillars.

Why God did made the snake before lawyers? To exercise.

If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first? The mountain lion. You can always shoot the bull.

Why are rabbits never gold? How would you tell them apart from goldfish?

What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand.

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.

What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.

Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would've.

The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?  All the men stood up. 'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?'  All the women stood up.  'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn' t belong to them?'  Half the women stood up.  'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?'  Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up. The priest fainted.