A vacuum salesman goes door-to-door in a new neighborhood. When a woman answers the door at the first house, the salesman walks right in and drops cow patties on her floor. He says, "Ma'am, just to show you how confident I am in the quality of my vacuums, I'll eat whatever the vacuum doesn't pick up." The woman smiles and asks, "Could I get you some ketchup with that?" The salesman scoffs confidently and says, "I assure you my vacuums have more power than any other on the market today!" The woman replies, "Well, that may be so, but we just moved in and the electricity isn't turned on yet."
Another name for a vagina is a cockpit
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale? Run round and round till you're all pooped out!
Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gay? A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.
Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
Yo mama's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair.
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
When is the best time to bury that baby you killed? When it starts talking to you again.