Joke #8255

Prostitute 1: Tonight's my night I can smell c**k in the air. Prostitute 2: Oh, sorry. I burped.

Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job? A: After 10 years the job still sucks.

What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.

A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long. "Let me show you," says the captain. He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there's a solitary barrel with a hole in it. "This'll be the best sex you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy." The recruit doesn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns. "Wow! That was the best sex I've ever had! I want to do it every day!" "Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday." "Why not Thursday?" "That's your day in the barrel."

Q: What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? A: "How are we supposed to find an egg in all this sh*t?"

"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?" "Sure, why do you ask." "I was going to offer you some toast." "How kind of... I'll accept." "Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger." "You're right about that!" "Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"

What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.

Q: How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? A: Pick it up and suck it's dick.

Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game? A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.