Q: Whats the height of desperation?
A: A vampire sucking blood from a sanitary napkin.
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Similar jokes
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Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder?
A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!
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Hey, did you hear about the cannibal who arrived late to the dinner party?
They gave him the cold shoulder!
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What's green and smells like pork?
Kermit's finger.
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Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?
A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.
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A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie.
When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture.
The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porn film and it was due out in a month.
A month later, the musician went to a porn theatre to see the adult movie.
With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row of the adult cinema, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise.
The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M, bondage and even a dog.
After a while watching the adult movie, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music."
"Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."
Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes.
One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt.
"We didn't find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners.
They eat their fill and leave.
The next morning's newspaper headline reads, "World's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."
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A farmer and a son live on a farm.
The farmer is sitting in the kitchen when his son comes in from the barn with a large glass of white liquid.
He is so excited because he's just milked a cow.
Then he takes a big drink from the glass.
His father just stares at him.
"Son, we don't have a cow. We have a bull."
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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten
inch penis?
A: "Partially disabled."
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Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job?
A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
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Q: What compliment do you NOT want from a midget?
A: Wow! Your hair smells good!
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