Joke #8359

Q: Whats the height of desperation? A: A vampire sucking blood from a sanitary napkin.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends? A: He plays with Pooh.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road kill. The first bum went down to eat it when he looked up at his friend and said, "Oh I'm sorry, would you like some?" He replied, "No I think I'll wait." So they continue down the road and the first bum said, "Look - some more road kill, I'm still hungry. How about you?" His friend replied, "No, not yet, I think I'll wait." The first bum ate the road kill. Shortly after, his eyes rolled back and he puked the whole thing back up on the street. Seconds later, his friend dove in and ate every last slickery drop of the puke. The first bum said, "I thought you weren't hungry?" His friend replied, "I was always hungry, I just wanted a warm meal."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, food
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
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has 40.32 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
Two doctors opened an office in a small town. They put up a sign reading: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology." The town council was not too happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to: "Hysterias and Posteriors." This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids." No go! Next they tried "Catatonics and Colonics" Thumbs down again. Then came, "Manic-Depressives and Anal-Retentives." But is was still not good! So they tried: "Minds and Behinds" "Analysis and Anal Cysts" "Nuts and Butts" "Freaks and Cheeks" "Loons and Moons" "Lost Souls and Ass Holes" None worked. Almost at their wits' end, the doctors finally came up with a title they thought might be accepted by the council: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Odds and Ends." APPROVED!
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has 72.32 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, work
A lady goes to the doctor, and says: "Doc, I have this smell about me that I can't get rid of no matter what I do. Can you help me?" The doctor says, "yeah I can help you but I'll have to examine you. You'll have to take all your clothes off first." So the lady takes her clothes off. Right away the doctor says, "hold on, I'll be right back." A couple minutes later he comes back with an 8-foot stick that has a little hook on the end of it. The lady says, "oh doctor, what str going to do with that?" And the doctor says, as he's going through the movements of opening a high window, "well I'm going to open the window, it smells like shit in here."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, doctor, insulting, women
Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder? A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, work
A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda." The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'" "No," the guy says. "My farts do." So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside. After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist." The guy says, "Why a dentist?" The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth." The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?" The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, fart
How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, pirate
Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece? A: He Married Her
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has 26.01 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, marriage, money