If I wanted some comeback, I'd wipe it off your chin!
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A hitchhiker walks down the road. Unfortunately, he has the runs and has to stop every 15 minutes.
A truck driver stops and offers a ride, but warns him that he won't stop for anything.
About 10 minutes on the road, the hitchhiker begs the truck driver to stop, and the driver tells him, "Stick your butt out the window if you have to go so bad."
The hitchhiker sticks his butt out the window and lets loose.
Unfortunately, he doesn't notice the two guys walking on the roadside.
Sprayed with feces, the first guy wipes his face and says, "What are them truckers chewing these days?"
The second guy wipes his face and says, "I don't know, but did you see the lips on that guy?"
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Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
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A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere.
Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him.
One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned.
"Finally, some company!" he thought.
While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
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A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present.
When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video.
He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video.
On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k.
He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough.
Then she turns to the camera.
"Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef?
A: Anyone can roast beef.
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What’s funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
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Q: How can you tell if you have an overbite?
A: When you're eating p**sy and it tastes like sh*t.
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Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't?
A: A belly button between her boobs.
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What has 4 legs and one arm?
A Doberman in a children’s playground!
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Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy?
A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.
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