If I wanted some comeback, I'd wipe it off your chin!
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Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?
A: Because when their balls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.
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What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.
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One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door.
When he opens the door, there stands a bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?"
The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar.
Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the door.
Again, there stands another bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?"
The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up the bar.
Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the back door.
This time, there's a bum asking for a straw.
The owner gives him a straw, but finally asks what's going on out there.
The bum replies, "Some lady threw up in the back, but all the good stuff is gone."
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Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
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Q: Why are men like diapers?
A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.
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The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants;
I asked her "Is it thick?"
She said "yes dear."
Again I asked: "Is it warm?"
She replied: "yes honey."
Then I asked: "Is it soft?"
She said, "yes of course."
"It is my shit!" I told her.
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Joke has 53.73 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
A man farts in bed next to his wife.
His wife asks, "What in the world was that?"
He replies, "Touchdown. I'm winning, seven nothing."
She decides to get even, so she lets one loose.
He yells at her, "What was that?"
She replies, "Touchdown, tie score."
He wants to get her back, but he tries so hard he sh*ts in bed.
The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"
He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."
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Q: What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge?
A: The fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat.
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What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common?
They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.
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Q: What do the Starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
A: They both circle Uranus searching for Klingons.
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