Joke #8310

While grocery shopping, a single man comes across toilet brushes. "Wow! What a great idea," he thinks to himself and buys three of them. Two weeks later, however, he goes back to using toilet paper.
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Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
Vote: has 49.31 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

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What's grosser than gross? Ten babies in one mail box. What's grosser than that? One baby in ten mailboxes. What's grosser than that? Biting into a pickle and finding a vein. What's grosser than that? A cheerleader doing a split and sticking to the floor. What's grosser than that? A girl thinking she has crabs only to find it's fruit flies because her cherry rotted.
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.." Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
Vote: has 49.63 % from 119 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Did you hear about the new movie "Constipation?" A: It hasn't come out yet.
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Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher came by in only an overcoat and opened it as wide as it could go. The first little old lady had a stroke, the second little old lady also had a stroke, but the third little old lady couldn't reach.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?" "Shut up and eat your corn flakes."
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A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep.  The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the toilet. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. "So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porn film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porn theatre to see the adult movie. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row of the adult cinema, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M, bondage and even a dog. After a while watching the adult movie, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music." "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."
Vote: has 81.98 % from 135 votes. Send joke:

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This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whorehouse with 5$. He buys a the cheapest prostitute named Sandpaper Sally. As they start to have sex, Jim screams, "Ouch! Now I know why they call you Sandpaper Sally!" Sally scoots out of the room. Five minutes later she came back and Jim attempts sex once again. "What the hell happened?" asks Jim, "This is the best sex I''ve ever had!" Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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