While grocery shopping, a single man comes across toilet brushes.
"Wow! What a great idea," he thinks to himself and buys three of them.
Two weeks later, however, he goes back to using toilet paper.
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What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.
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Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
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Two monsters went to a Halloween party.
Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?"
The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
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Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a
Jewish wife?
A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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Mom! I'm a 3D printer!
Oh come on, Tommy, close the door when you poop.
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What's grosser than gross?
When you throw your underwear and it sticks to the wall.
What's grosser than that?
When you come back an hour later and it's moved up three feet.
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Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian?
A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!
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Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
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That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
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Some advice for guys: When the red river's flowin', take the dirt road.
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