Q: What do the Starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
A: They both circle Uranus searching for Klingons.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What does Michael Jackson call a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll?
Bait!
Vote:
A farmer and a son live on a farm.
The farmer is sitting in the kitchen when his son comes in from the barn with a large glass of white liquid.
He is so excited because he's just milked a cow.
Then he takes a big drink from the glass.
His father just stares at him.
"Son, we don't have a cow. We have a bull."
Vote:
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common?
A: After a night of visiting children, they both have empty sacks.
Vote:
Q: Why was the condom flying through the air?
A: It got pissed off.
Vote:
Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?
So you can pick them up five at a time
Vote:
A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere.
Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him.
One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned.
"Finally, some company!" he thought.
While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
Vote:
A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she accidentaly dropps some BB from the shelf into the batter.
She decides that it won't matter and continues to make the cake.
Later that day, her sons eat the cake and don't even notice the BBs.
The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, "Mom, mom, I pissed out a beebee!"
She says "That's okay, son. I accidentaly dropped some beebees into the cake batter. You'll be fine."
Five minutes later, one of the other sons, come running in and he says, "Mom, mom, I.."
But the mother cuts him off and she says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you'll be fine."
Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, "Mom, mom, I.."
And the mother cuts him off and says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. It's my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you'll be fine."
But then son says, "No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!"
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
Vote:
What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in common?
They both shower after three periods!
Vote:
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore.
Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
Vote: