Q: What compliment do you NOT want from a midget?
A: Wow! Your hair smells good!
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Similar jokes
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Q: How do you piss off a man?
A: Stand on his back and piss.
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A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis.
He says to the doctor "My penis is too small."
Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch."
So the man thanks the doctor and leaves.
He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch.
Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy.
A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker.
"Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count?
Eminem has to chew before swallowing.
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Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
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How did the live baby escape from a room filled with with zombie babies?
He ate his way out.
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Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician standing at the top of a slide.
The magician said, "You may each go down the slide and ask for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide, you shall land in a huge glass of that drink.
The first man went down yelling, "Beer!" He landed in a glass of beer.
The second man went down yelling, "Lemonade!" He landed in a glass of lemonade.
The third guy man down the slide yelling, "Wee!"
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After nine years of marriage, a butcher's wife is tired of her husband's morning flatulence.
She warns him that he'll fart his guts out.
One night, the wife decides to put pig scraps in his pants, so he will think that he actually farted his guts out and stop the flatulence.
The next morning, the husband goes to the bathroom.
Two long hours later, he comes out and says, "You were right about me farting my guts out. But with the grace of the dear Lord and these two fingers. I got them back in there!"
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What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree?
Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
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Q: Why do men fart louder than women?
A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
An old man and his wife went to the doctor's office.
The doctor asked the man for a blood, urine and feces sample.
The man was slightly deaf and said, "What?"
The doctor said, "I need a blood, urine and feces sample."
The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear, "Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear."
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