Joke #8391

Q: What compliment do you NOT want from a midget? A: Wow! Your hair smells good!
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What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Vote: has 30.82 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

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Teacher asks Little Johnny to use the word 'definitely' in a sentence. Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?" The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny," To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely shit my pants then..."
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How do you unload a truck of zombie babies? With a pitchfork.
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What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
Vote: has 78.64 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

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There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum. Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?" To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips." Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?" "No, but it stops me from licking them!"
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What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.
Vote: has 42.25 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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A guy walks into a bar and announces that he can close his eyes and name what kind of alcohol he is drinking and how old it is, just by taste and smell. A drunken guy at the bar says, "I bet I can give you a drink that you can't name." "You're on," replies the guy, "as long as you pay." So the drunken guy puts a drink on the table. The guy sips it, gags and spits it out. "This tastes like piss!" "Yeah," says the drunken guy, "now guess how old I am."
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common? A: They just didn't listen
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