A pollock walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if he sells condoms.
We have some for 75 cents a peace.
The man asks for two.
The pharmacist calculates the total and says, "That will be $1.58 with tax, sir."
The pollock says, "Oh, these come with tacks? I was wondering how you keep them on."
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One man says, "I can't believe they are still together after all that crap."
The other man says, "Who?"
The first man says, "Your butt cheeks."
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Q: What's the hardest thing about a sex change from a man to a woman?
A: Inserting the anchovies
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Two men work in a mortuary.
One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today.
She'd been in the water for a week.
Her clit was like a pickle."
"Ew!" says the other fellow.
"It was green?"
"No, it was sour!"
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On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.
The florist's son handed the teacher a gift.
She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift.
She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, Little Johnny.
The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking.
She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she asked. "No," Little Johnny answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," he answered.
Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"
Little Johnny replied, "A puppy!"
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Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time?
He didn't know if he was coming or going.
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What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag?
1 dead baby in 10 bags.
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Yo mama's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair.
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Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't?
A: A belly button between her boobs.
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What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree?
Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
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Q: What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy?
A: At least when you are eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you.
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