Joke #8322

A pollock walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if he sells condoms. We have some for 75 cents a peace. The man asks for two. The pharmacist calculates the total and says, "That will be $1.58 with tax, sir." The pollock says, "Oh, these come with tacks? I was wondering how you keep them on."

What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."

What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.

Q: What's the difference between an epyleptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diahrrea? A: One shucks between fits.

Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's? Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you. Boy Monster: Is it still beating?

Did you hear about the man who drank 5 gallons of tea? He drowned in his teepee!

Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings." The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt." The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?" "No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."

Q: What do you give an elephant with diarrhea? A: Lots of room.

Why are a sorority girl and a tampon similar? They are both stuck up cunts.

Yo mama is so stinky that she scared the fly's off the shit wagonrn.