Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten
inch penis?
A: "Partially disabled."
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A businessman returns from the far east.
After a few days he notices stange growth on his penis.
He sees several doctors.
They all say: "You've been screwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We'll have to cut it off."
The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it.
So he goes back and sees a doctor in Pakistan.
The doctor examines him and says, "You've been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?"
The man replies, "Yes a few in the USA."
The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off."
The man answers, "Yes!"
The doctor smiles, nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."
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Two sperms.
The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?"
The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
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I was having a shit in the train toilet today, when some bloke knocked on the door.
He said, "Can I see your ticket please?"
"Not right now" I shouted, "I'm having a shit!"
He said, "I don't believe you, can you pass it under the door?"
"No problem," I said, sliding it under. "The yellow bits are sweetcorn."
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What’s funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
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Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's?
Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you.
Boy Monster: Is it still beating?
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"How are your hemorrhoids?"
"Swell."
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Q: What do the Starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
A: They both circle Uranus searching for Klingons.
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Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle.
They made it to an uninhabited island.
Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing.
Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing.
Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
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Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and a sh*thead?
A: Depth perception.
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How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom?
Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.
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