Joke #1767

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten inch penis? A: "Partially disabled."
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"If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up at the wrong end." "People who go out of their way to help others have great taste." "An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind, but not hungry." "Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed at another morgue." "A journey of a hundred trillion cells begins with a single nibble." "The only difference between a big shot and a little shot is that the big shot takes longer to chew." "It's all right to have little butterflies in your stomach. In fact, I'd say a trip to the elementary school play is a wonderful idea." "You don't know what your appetite can get away with until you try. Or are tried." "If you carry your childhood with you, you should probably go the bathroom soon." "Never keep up with Joneses. Have them over for dinner." "Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a very startled swimmer."
Vote: has 56.36 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food, sport, travel
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
Vote: has 20.22 % from 179 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics? A: Having two legs.
Vote: has 56.31 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, sport
Little Red Riding Hood walks through the forest and sees a wolf hunched under a tree with its ears erect and its mouth stretched in a big grimace. She says to the wolf, "My, what big ears you have!" The wolf keeps grimacing. She says, "My, what big eyes you have!" The wolf grimaces even wider, baring his teeth. She says, "My, what big teeth you have!" The wolf finally snaps and says, "F**k off! I'm trying to take a dump."
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep.  The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the toilet. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. "So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.." Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
Vote: has 49.63 % from 119 votes. Send joke:

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A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, "Where's the burger?" The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob. On the wall? Art. On the floor? Matt.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"
Vote: has 85.10 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, morbid, sex
A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!" Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table. "There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
Vote: has 69.95 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, family, marriage, redneck