Q: What do you call a Shih-Tzu mixed with a poodle? A: A Shih-Tzpoo.
After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
On a cold day of January, I went to visit one of my friends in his house; it was snowing and my friend urged me to stay the night with him. They had only 2 rooms one for themselves and other for their baby; so I suggested to rest in baby' room. In middle of the night, I need WC which was in the garden and was so difficult for me to go there. I thought some moments then decided to change my place with the baby. I did so. And pissed in the place of baby; when I returned to change again I saw that the baby had shitted in my bed!
Teacher asks Little Johnny to use the word 'definitely' in a sentence. Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?" The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny," To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely shit my pants then..."
Jeremy and Kris walk down the street and see a dog licking himself. Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!" Kris replies, "I think you'd have to pet him first."
How is parsley like pubic hair? You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
Q: What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? A: "How are we supposed to find an egg in all this sh*t?"