Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
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Q: How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
A: Pick it up and suck it's dick.
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"Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?" asked one vampire.
"Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then get a quick bite."
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What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
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A young, innocent couple goes on their honeymoon.
They get naked and jump into bed, but neither knows what to do.
Eventually, they decide to rub their noses together.
After awhile, they decide to rub their toes together.
Finally, they begin to rub their hips together.
Suddenly, the man jumps up and runs to the bathroom.
After several minutes, he returns to the bedroom, looking scared.
"What happened?" asks his bride.
"I don't know," he replies, "but something curdled my urine!"
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Q: How can you tell if you have an overbite?
A: When you're eating p**sy and it tastes like sh*t.
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Q: What can popsicles do that men can't?
A: Come in five flavors.
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Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef?
A: Anyone can roast beef.
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What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree?
Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
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The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants;
I asked her "Is it thick?"
She said "yes dear."
Again I asked: "Is it warm?"
She replied: "yes honey."
Then I asked: "Is it soft?"
She said, "yes of course."
"It is my shit!" I told her.
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Joke has 53.73 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
