Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets? A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy? A: At least when you are eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you.
What is grosser than gross? When you're kissing Grandma and she slips you the tongue.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob. On the wall? Art. On the floor? Matt.
Q: What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? A: "How are we supposed to find an egg in all this sh*t?"
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body? My dick.
After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
Q: What does an elephant use as tampon? A: A sheep.
There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor. The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine. The next day the doctor called and the wife answered. "I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said. "I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample". After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?" "He needs a pair of your underwear".