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One day, a hippie and a nun get on a bus.
The hippie whispers into the nun's ear and says
"You wanna have sex?" and the nun says,
"No way you sicko!", after that, the hippie gets off the bus and tells the bus driver to tell the nuns to go to the graveyard at 9:00pm that night.
At 9:00pm the nun arrives at the graveyard and the hippie is there dressed as god.
The hippie then commands the nun to have sex with him and the nun replies,
"Ok, but can you do it up the back?", the hippie agrees and they do it.
After they're done, the hippie pulls of his mask and yells,
"HA! I am the hippie from the bus" then the nun pulls of HIS mask and says "HA! I am the bus driver!"
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore?
A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers?
A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
A guy is walking along the shoreline at the beach wearing just a pair of cutoff jeans.
Sure enough, he kicks up a bottle, pulls the cork, and out comes the Genie to give him one wish.
He pulls out a map of the Middle East, and asks the Genie if he can bring Peace to this part of the World.
The Genie pales, and says, "Master, these people have been at war since time began. It is their nature, woven into the very fabric of their lives. What you ask is totally impossible. It is probably the only wish I cannot grant you. Ask for anything else and I will make it happen."
"Okay", the guy says. "Tomorrow morning have my wife awaken me, with the best blowjob I've ever had, on her own, without my begging and pleading - just because she likes it, because she wants to, and because it turns her on."
The Genie shakes his head and says, "Let me see that map again!
In the morning Little Johnny says to his father, "Daddy last night I had my first s*xual encounter."
His father looks at him proudly and says, "When are you planniing to do it again?"
"I don't know daddy ever since it happened my ass has been hurting like crazy."
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing.
"Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols."
"Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?"
Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
Girl: Baby im wet.
Boy: Want a paper towel?
Girl: No, i want more then that ;)
Boy: Want 2 paper towels?
Girl: No, baby i want sumthing big and round ;)
Boy: Damn you want the whole roll?
Q: Why do black women lose their hair at an early age?
A: From all of the hair pulling during rape.