Joke #5958

Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tried but she couldn't reach.
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has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, sex, Yo mama
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn comes in to take a piss. Well, the man cant help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised, "bubba, whats your secret?" Bubba says"well, every night before i go to get in bed with a woman i whack my dick on the bedpost three times." So the man decides to try it that very night. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says"bubba, is that you?"
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has 84.65 % from 946 votes. More jokes about: dirty, wife, women
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.
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has 23.38 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Three guys die and go to Hell. Satan asks the first guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" "He was a candle maker." So, Satan burns off the guy's d**k. Satan asks the second guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" "He was a rope maker." So, Satan rips off the guy's d**k with a rope. Satan asks the third guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" The guy smiles and says, "He made lollipops."
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has 67.69 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
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has 67.11 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty
A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No", he replies,"I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What"s so special about it?" The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically." The lady says, "What"s it telling you now?" Well, it says you're not wearing any panties." The woman giggles and replies "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!" The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast."
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has 85.43 % from 1048 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do a penis and a Rubik's Cubes have in common? A: The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
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has 70.83 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, game, masturbation
A man is working a a d*ldo store, when a brunette walks in. She asks him how much for the black d*ldo? He replies $50 for the black one, $50 for the white one. She leaves without purchasing anything. A red head walks in and asks him how much for the white d*ldo? He replies $50 for the white one, $50 for the black one. she doesn't buy anything. A blonde enters the store and asks him how much for a d*ldo? He answers $50 for a black one, $50 for a white one. She asks how much for the plaid one on the shelf behind him? He says oh thats a very special one, thats $250. She buys it. At closing, the manager walk in and asks the man how much he sold. The man said no d*ldos but i sold your thermos for $250.
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has 83.09 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Bulgarian businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She says, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?" One of the Bulgarian men says, "Can't you see? Ve arrrre all verrry, verrry hoongry." The waitress makes a stroking motion and says, "So how is whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation??" One of the other businessmen replies: "The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"
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has 82.18 % from 340 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, food, masturbation
Patient: "Doc, recently I've been very careless." Doc: "How? Give me an example." Patient: "Now I'm speaking with you, it seems that I'm talking to my dick."
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has 72.31 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, vulgar