Joke #8422

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Vote:
has 82.68 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That’s a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. "As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most – cars and men. Therefore I chose 'Carmen'" "What’s your name?” she asked. He answered "B. J. Titsengolf."
Vote:
has 82.72 % from 208 votes. More jokes about: car, family, golf, men, women
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at boobs and she said "Press One?" So I did... I don't remember much after that.
Vote:
has 85.10 % from 592 votes. More jokes about: sex, women
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
Vote:
has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, women
Question: What’s the difference between your paycheck and your penis? Answer: You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
Vote:
has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: women
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
Vote:
has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, women
Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"? A: They want to watch their asses.
Vote:
has 78.47 % from 280 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, men, women
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
Vote:
has 65.08 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, women
The wife's just said to me "Can you explain why I've just found another womans knickers in your coat pocket?" I said "Yes, I can explain. It's because you're a nosy ****!"
Vote:
has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: wife, women
A woman and baby are in the doctors surgery, the doc is concerned about the babys weight, "Is he bottle fed or breast fed? The woman replies, "Breast fed." The doc gets her to strip down to her waist so he can examine her breasts. He pinches her nipples and sucks and rubs both breasts for a while ... "No wonder the baby is underweight, you have no milk." Woman replies, "I know, Im his granny ... but Im glad I came!"
Vote:
has 81.62 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, women
Woman: When you're finished with me, will my husband think I'm beautiful? Beautician: Maybe. Does he still drink a lot?
Vote:
has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beauty, husband, women