Joke #8422

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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has 81.48 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: women

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The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: golf, sport, time, women
Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman? A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
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has 67.50 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex, women
What’s the difference between goats and women?? Goats are always horney.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
Why did the blonde have a sore belly button? Because there are blonde men too!
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has 40.75 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: blonde, men, women
A woman went to doctors office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room.
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has 23.03 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: women
A woman goes to a doctor, doctor, I'm tired of life, want to finish my life, what is best to kill myself? The doctor says: "Should yourself 5 cm under your breast, you will be dead!" 2 weeks later, woman back at doctors, what happened? I shot myself into my knee.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, medical, time, women
Why is it called PMS? — Because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: women
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: sport, women
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man." "Wow," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, priest, women