Joke #8426

Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: women

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An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked. "Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied. So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out. "Yuck, that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!" "Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: husband, wife, women
What do they call a woman who works as hard as a man? Answer: “Lazy.”
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: women
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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has 66.88 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife, women
A man sits on a bus looking ashamed. The man next to him notices and asks what is wrong. He says that when he went to buy the bus ticket, the woman serving him had the most unbelievable breasts, so he got flustered and asked for two tickets to Tittsburgh instead of Pittsburgh. The man next to him laughs, "Don't worry about that. We all make Freudian slips. This morning I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say, 'Pass the salt,' but I accidently said, 'You f**king bitch, you ruined my life.'"
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has 74.83 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: life, men, wife, women
Q: Why do horny women order at Subway? A: Footlongs.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: women
"Does she have a boyfriend?" "Yes, a cute, strong and clever one." "What's the name?" "John, Michael and Bill."
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: relationship, women
Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man? A: A lazy b*tch.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women, work
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
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has 65.35 % from 400 votes. More jokes about: age, kids, women
Q: What Valentine's Day candy is best to give a girl? A: Her-She Kisses.
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has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: food, Valentines day, women
A sexy woman walks up to the counter and motions the bartender over. She starts to run her fingers through his hair and asks to speak to the manager. The Bartender replies, "Sorry, the manager is out. Can I help you?" By this time the woman has run her fingers over his face and in his mouth where the horny bartender is gently sucking on them. She says, "You sure he isn’t here?" The bartender mumbles through her fingers, "Yes, he’s out for another 2 hours. Are you sure there is nothing I can do to help?" The woman then says, "Oh, I only wanted to tell him there’s no toilet paper or soap in the ladies toilets!"
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: women