Joke #8426

Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Vote:
has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A masked man walks into a bank and holds it up at gunpoint to rob the bank. In the process of robbing the bank, his mask fell off. He quickly put it back on his face and asked the teller directly ahead of him if she saw his face. She admitted that she did, so he shot and killed her. He then turned to the teller that was beside the one her just killed and asked if she had also seen his face. She said that she did and he shot and killed her too. He then turned to a man, a customer who just happened to be in the bank when the robbery was taking place. The robber asked the customer if he had seen his face. The customer replied, “No, but I’m pretty sure my wife did.”
Vote:
has 77.32 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: death, wife, women
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
Vote:
has 32.38 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, fart, women
A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!” The doctor replied, “Show me.” So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again. She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.” He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is. You broke your finger.”
Vote:
has 74.89 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, women
How many women does it take to change a light bulb? 11, 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it..
Vote:
has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: women
Why do women love Hunters the best as lovers? 1. Hunters have the longest and most powerful rifles. 2. Hunters always....shoot twice. 3. Hunters love to...eat what they shoot!
Vote:
has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: hunting, love, women
One day a women walks into work in a short skirt. As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says, “Your hair smells really nice today.” She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office. She says,”I want to file a sexual harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened. The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?” Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”
Vote:
has 68.60 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common? A: They all get the house.
Vote:
has 56.16 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: marriage, weather, women
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore. They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink. After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"
Vote:
has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sport, stupid, time, women
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
Vote:
has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: teacher, women
One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch: "My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."
Vote:
has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: business, life, math, time, women