A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire".
Jennifer, wanna go to my place? I am not Jennifer But I didn't ask about that...
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.
A retired gentlemen went into the social security office to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line a long time, he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. “Will I have to go home and come back now?” he asks. The woman says, “Unbutton your shirt.” So he opens his shirt revealing lost of curly silver hair. She says, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me.” and she processes his Social Security application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. She said, “You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too.”
Scientists have finally discovered what is wrong with the female brain. On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left.
A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Sexual Studies Convention in Chicago". He swallowed hard. Here was the gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting about sexual studies! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use my extensive personal experience to share interesting facts about sexuality. "Really," he gulped,"like what?" "Well," she explained, "For instance, Native American Indians are the most passionate. While Jewish men are the most likely to satisfy a woman fully. And in terms of lasting the longest, surprisingly it's the Southern redneck." Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name." "Um, Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."