Q: Why do horny women order at Subway? A: Footlongs.
There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman - before and after marriage.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
MEN Vs WOMEN 1. MEN discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT. WOMEN discovered paint and invented makeup. 2. Men discovered word and invented conversation. Women discovered conversation and invented gossip. 3. Men discovered gambling and invented cards. Women discovered cards and invented Witchery. 4. Men discovered trading and invented money. Women discovered money and invented shopping. There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women STUCK TO SHOPPING.
Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
I want me a big black girl...the type of woman that sits in the car and it looks like it's got tinted windows.
A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my daughter in Columbia." As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."
I told my friend that she drew her eyebrows on too high. She looked surprised.
A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!