Joke #8516

What are two things a black man can't get in a fist fight. A black eye, and a swollen lip.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life

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A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. "Your money or your life!" says the mugger. "I'm sorry," the social worker answers, "I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life."
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We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.
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I'm trying to write a joke about overdosing on cocaine. But I need a line to end it.
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A Russian captain is trying to explain to his comrades the effects of atomic bombs: "Now, imagine 20 no, 40, no... a 100 cases of vodka and noone to drink them!"
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About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, god, life, money, time
A teller at our credit union was assisting a member with a loan application. "Do you have references?" she asked. The member replied, "Do they have to be living?"
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life, money
Two politician are having lunch together, all of a sudden one stood up and shouted, "Your lying." The other replied, "I know but just hear me out."
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life, political
Guy goes every day to the same diner, looks over the menu, and always orders the same thing: ham and eggs. Every day, the same thing: ham and eggs. Waitress decides to play a trick on him and scratches it from the menu. He comes in, she says, "You know that thing you like so much? I scratched it." "Well, wash off your hand and get me some ham and eggs."
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The last person to enter parliament with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes on 5th November 1605.
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