Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
Chuck Norris is the meaning of life. Too bad he's also the meaning of death.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.