Joke #8557

Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse. He uses a lion.
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Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
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Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
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Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
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Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain...the snake died.
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Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
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There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
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Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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