Joke #872

There's a blonde walking down a trail. She comes to a river and stops. She looks right then left. She sees another blonde on the other side. She asks her "how do you get to the other side?" The blonde on the other side look right then left and says "you are on the other side"!

She is so blonde, she studied for a blood test.

A young man finally got a date with the blonde female that lived in his apartment complex. To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof and managed to get sunburn on his “tool of the trade”. But, he was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze. The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie. During the movie, however, the young man’s sunburn started acting up again. He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen and poured a tall, cool glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain. The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his member immersed in a glass of milk. Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, “So that’s how you guys load those things!”

A blonde comes home to find her husband in bed with a redhead. She grabs a gun and holds it to her own head. The husband begs her not to shoot herself. The blonde shouts at her husband, ‘Shut up! You’re next!’

A Blonde was at a gumball machine. She put a quarter in and kept getting a gumball out. The man behind her asked if he could get a gumball. She said, "Shut up! I'm WINNING!"

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?  A: Gifted!

Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? A: They think their picture is being taken.

There a ventriloquist telling blond joke . A blond comes storming up on stage and start says"blonds can be smart to you know,and I'm smart, I should know." The ventriloquist says" ok ok I'm sorry I won't do it again" then the blond says "you shut up and stay out of this cuz I'm talking to the jurk on your knee"

A blonde had some goldfish and she did not know how to feed them. So she called her brunette friend, and she showed her how. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, "Now, what do I give them to drink?"

A blonde, a brunet and a red head were running from the cops when they came upon three empty sacks laying in front of a closed store. "Let's hide in these and the cops won't find us!" said the red head, and they each dove into the sacks. The brunet hid in one that said CAT. The red head hid in one that said DOG, and the blonde hid in one that said POTATOS. When the cops came by, they saw the bags and said: "Maybe they're in these sacks. Kick one of them." to the other. The other cop kicked the bag the brunet was in that said CAT and she said: "Meow!". So the cop kicked the second bag with the red head that said DOG. She said once kicked: "Woof!". So the cop moved on to the final sack that said POTATOS and kicked it. The blonde cried out: "Potatos!"