“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
Why was the Blonde's bellybutton bruised? Her husband was a blonde too!
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead wake up on an island with a gun. Only three bullets were in the barrel. "I'm going hunting," said the redhead, and she ran into the vegetation. She came back with a rabbit. "How did you get that?" the other two asked. "I followed the tracks, shot it and brought it back. The brunette, thinking that she could do better, went out and came back with a deer. "How did you get that?" the other two asked. "I followed the tracks, shot it and brought it back. "I could do better than either of you" said the blonde and ran into the forest and came back with bruises and scrapes. "What happened?" they asked. "I followed the tracks and got hit by a train."
Q: Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes? A: Because they leave to go answer the door.
Q. What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A. She moved.
Why did the blonde burn her ear? The phone rang while she was ironing!
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath". The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs."
A blonde was taking helicopter lessons. The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing." At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great. At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well. Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground. The instructor ran to where she crash landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. "What went wrong?" The blonde said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."
Why do blondes clean their hair in the sink? Because that’s where your supposed to wash vegetables.
Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? A: "Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"
Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car? A. Because she blows the horn!