Joke #873

One simply cannot play fair and win in a zoo - there are way too many cheetahs.

Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She called the police immediately to report the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch. The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder. She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning. "What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer. The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a blind policeman!"

What do you call the everyday routines of rabbits? Rabbits habits.

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."

The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. They point this thing at the windshield of the aircraft and shoot a dead chicken at about the speed the air-craft normally flies at it. If the windshield doesn't break, it's likely to survive a real collision with a bird during flight. The British had recently built a new locomotive that could pull a train faster than any before it. They were not sure that its windshield was strong enough so they borrowed the testing device from the FAA, reset it to approximate the maximum speed of the locomotive, loaded in the dead chicken, and fired. The bird went through the windshield, broke the engineer's chair, and made a major dent in the back wall of the engine cab. They were quite surprised with this result, so they asked the FAA to check the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA checked everything and suggested that they might want to repeat the test using a thawed chicken.

What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office? An encownter group.

What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds? A dinosaur with the hiccups.

Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water? A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?

I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?" Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."