Joke #873

How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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has 20.26 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: cop, light bulb

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black.
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has 71.08 % from 577 votes. More jokes about: black people, cop, light bulb, racist
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: cop, light bulb
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None because they screw each other the dirty fucks.
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has 75.00 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, light bulb
This guy calls his wife at work and says, "Don't worry, I'm fine and the damage is minimal." She says, "Oh my gosh, what happened?" He says, "I was coming back from lunch and a bird hit my car windshield." "How much damage did it do?" she asked. "Minimal, however I did get a ticket." "A ticket how did you get that?" "Well, I managed to reach the bird through the window and throw it behind me, however it hit the windshield of the car behind me. It was a highway patrol car and the officer gave me a ticket." "What for?" she asked, "Damaging his windshield?" "No, for flipping him the bird!"
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: cop
A police officer pulls over an elderly female for speeding while driving her husband to a doctors appointment. The officer approaches the vehicle and attempts to explain that he stopped her for speeding. She looks at her husband and asks, "What did he say?" The husband replies, "He said he stopped you for speeding." The officer asked the elderly female for her driver's license and she turned and asked her husband, "What did he say? The husband replies, "he wants to see your driver's license." The women hands the officer her license and he sees that she is from his old home town. The officer tells the couple that he remembered the town because he had the worst sexual experience of his life there. The women looks at her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The husband replies, "He says he knows you."
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has 79.65 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: cop, doctor, driving, husband, sex
A man was driving along the road when all of a sudden he has to swerve to avoid a box falling off the lorry in front. Seconds later a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. As the policeman starting writing the ticket he noticed the box was full of nails and tacks. "I had to serve or I'd have run over those and blown my tyres!" protested the driver. "Ok", replied the officer, ripping up the ticket, "but I'm still bringing you in." "What for?" retorted the man. "Tacks evasion", answered the policeman.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, driving, tax
Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: accountant, light bulb, math, work
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, political, republican
Johnny comes back home from school and tells his father, "Dad, tomorrow you are invited to a special parent meetings at school." "How much special?" "Well, just me, you, the director and two investigators from the FBI."
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has 79.74 % from 298 votes. More jokes about: cop, dad, little Johnny, school