One simply cannot play fair and win in a zoo - there are way too many cheetahs.
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Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues?
Because he had a stinking cold.
A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady if she had a woman that could handle 16 inches.
"Hmm," said the madam. "I'm not sure. Try the first door on the right."
So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and immediately heard screams.
"It's too big! Take it out!" So he went to the madam.
"No, really. I need someone who can handle 16 inches."
"Hmm," said the madam. "Try the last door."
So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and had the time of his life, surprised that there was no scream at all.
In fact, he heard no sounds at all.
Puzzled, he finished up and pulled out.
"Talk to me, baby."
"Moo."
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.
The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" The lady confirmed,
"Yes."
"Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."
Go to your back door and look for the dog.
If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining.
But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.
If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.
If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.
Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.
Yours sincerely,
The CAT
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?
A: The guy who gave it to him.
Vote:
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case.
What did the frog say to the fly?
You are really starting to bug me!
A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.