Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: I'm bakin'.
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Jim and Lena were driving around the countryside when they ran over a skunk.
"We better take the skunk to the vet, Lena.
Just put the skunk between your legs to keep it warm."
"But, Jim, what about the smell?"
"Don't worry, Lena. The skunk will get used to it."
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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How are black people and wolves similar?
They both fight in packs.
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Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
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Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
In Noah’s ark, on day 3 the animals could no longer hold their sexual desire, so they started having sex with one another.
But Noah got really angry cause the Ark started shaking dangerously and he decided that it was time to put things in order.
So he ordered that every male should get a card stating the name of his wife and the days they were allowed to mate. So they did…
After a couple of days, during breakfast in the Ark’s cafeteria the monkey said to his wife:
"You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!"
The female monkey felt really ashamed because all of the animals heard her husband…
The day after, the male monkey said to his wife again: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!"
The female monkey feeling really confused, told Noah what had happened, so Noah called the male monkey in his office and asked for an explanation.
“You kinky monkey! Why do you insist on disgracing your wife in front of all the other animals?” said Noah
“I am not kinky sir”, said the monkey “I’m just warning her because I lost my card at a poker game and now the elephant has it…”
What hair style is a calf's favorite?
The cowlick.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side…
Why did the farmer fence in the bull?
The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!