Joke #3465

Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day? A: I'm bakin'.
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has 41.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
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has 74.05 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: accountant, animal, kids, tax
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.  The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire." The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running.  About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.  He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast.  The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can.  The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.  The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit... third fucking rooster I bought this month." Moral of this story? Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, fart
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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has 46.02 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
How could the dolphin afford to buy a house? He prawned everything.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
There's a guy Who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away. So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him. Eventually, the bears went away. Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble. Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street? Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
One simply cannot play fair and win in a zoo - there are way too many cheetahs.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
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has 30.80 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food, time
I love my cat. My cat does not care.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal