Joke #9918

What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.

What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef.

Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers.

First Kangaroo: If you were surrounded by 30 lions, 25 elephants and 10 hippos, how would you get away from them? Second Kangaroo: Step off the merry-go-round.

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three games out of five."

What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do.

Every day after work two blondes would look for their cars together. Since they could never remember where they parked, they would sit around until all the cars were gone and they could spot their vehicles. One blonde says "We need to find a faster way to get home." The next day, they come to work on a donkey. After work they come out and see a donkey tied to the fence. "I think we're going to have to wait again, " says the one blonde. "I'm not convinced that's our donkey." "Why not?" asks the second blonde. The first blonde says, "Well, this donkey only has one a**hole, and this morning when we rode in, I distinctly overhead someone say, "Hey look at those two a**holes on that donkey."

What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers? Tyrannosaurus Hex.

If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?

What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? Shark absorbers.

Two statues, male and female, faced each other in the city park for many years. An angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." The statues came to life and smiled at each other. They ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?" The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?" Giggling, the female statue said, "Sure, but this time, you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"