Yo' Mama is so skanky, her dildo came with jumper cables.
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Yo' mama so fat, she uses epileptic boys as vibrators!
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Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind.
Son: Dad im over here.
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A son and the dad are walking around on the streets.
The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind."
The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
Yo mama is so fat when she sat on WALMART she lowered the price.
Q: What do you call a teenage girl who doesn't masturbate?
A: Liar.
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A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Bulgarian businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating.
She says, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?"
One of the Bulgarian men says, "Can't you see? Ve arrrre all verrry, verrry hoongry."
The waitress makes a stroking motion and says, "So how is whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation??"
One of the other businessmen replies:
"The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"
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Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task?
A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
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"Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones!"
Yo momma’s so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the Ws.