Yo' Mama is so skanky, her dildo came with jumper cables.
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Yo' mama so fat, she uses epileptic boys as vibrators!
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What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef Stroke-n-off
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Q: How is Yo' Mama like the New York Jets?
A: You give them a quarter, and they'll let you score.
What’s red, black, red, black, red, black, red and white?
A nigger that’s masturbating himself!
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I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
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A boss has to fire one of 2 workers, Jack and Jill.
However, Both Jack and Jill are skilled workers and he is finding it really, really difficult to pick.
So after their shifts, Jack goes home before Jill does, and the boss goes over to Jill just before she gets into her car.
He informs her of his dilemma.
"Hey Jill, I have a problem."
"Ok Boss, what is it?" she asks
"I Can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off, what would you suggest?"
"Well, you'd better get the vasoline, i'm going home!"
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Dan staggers into the shower.
He notices that his d**k is bright orange.
He feels normal, but he's concerned and goes to the doctor.
After a thorough examination, the doctor says, "You seem to be fine and all of the tests are normal. Did you do anything out of the ordinary over the weekend?"
Dan says, "No. All I did was stay home, watch porno movies and eat Cheetos."
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Yo mama so fat when she went to bruger king the bruger was running as fast as they can.
Yo mama is so dumb she stuck a battery up her butt and said, "I got energy!"