Joke #8754

Yo' Mama is so skanky, her dildo came with jumper cables.

Yo' mama so fat, she uses epileptic boys as vibrators!

Yo momma so fat, she bounced over Wal-Mart, rolled over KMart, and landed on target.

Grass is green, trees are greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.

A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a year unaccompanied in Shemya, Alaska. The first night home, he told his wife he had something to show her. "I've mastered the art of mind over matter. Just watch this!" And with that he dropped his trousers and shorts and stood before her in his altogether. "D**k, ten-HUT!" And with that, his d**k sprang to full erection. "D**k, at EASE!" And his d**k deflated again. "That was amazing," said his wife. "Can I bring over our neighbor to show her?" The guy responded that he didn't mind at all, since he was proud of his accomplishment. So his wife brought back a delicious looking woman. "D**k, ten-HUT!" And his penis sprang up. "D**k, at EASE!" Nothing. "D**k, at EASE!" Still nothing. "For the last time, D**k at EASE!" Frustratingly enough, nothing happened. Embarrassed, he ran off to the bathroom. Worried, his wife ran after and found that he was vigorously masturbating. "What are you doing?" "I'm giving this guy a dishonorable discharge!"

Yo mama so old that when she went to the museum, people thought she was part of an exhibit.

Yo' Mama is so fat, people use her butt cheeks for a ski slope.

Yo momma so fat when she stepped on the scale it came up with my phone number.

Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.

Yo Momma's o fat she supplies 99% of British gas.

This 12 year old boy was in bed when he heard his mother moaning. He decided that he'd go see whats wrong with her. When he looked in his mothers room he saw that she was laying on her bed naked and rubbing herself and saying, "I need a man, I need a man." So this quite a few times and then one night he heard his mother again, but this time her moaning sounded different, so he went to go check it out, this time instead of seeing his mother alone, he sees his mother in bed with a man. So the boy runs back to his room, strips all his clothes off, jumps on the bed and starts rubbing himself while saying, "I need a bike, I need a bike!!!"