I'm thinking about opening a summer camp for jewish kids with adhd and dyslexia, I'm gonna call it Concentration camp.
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
What do u call a black priest? Holy shit.
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake. A bittersweet victory.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics? A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.
Why did the cannibal live on his own? He was fed up with other people.
Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"
What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan.
Mother, "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick, "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother, "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick, "What school?"