Q: Did you hear her eyes were blue?
A: Yeah, one blew this way, one blew that way...
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Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history?
Hitler.
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An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50.
The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?"
His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive."
The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal.
"Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot.
The couple climbs in the helicopter.
The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter.
The couple never made a sound.
The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides."
The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
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I had a mate who was suicidal.
He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.
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Q: What do you call an afghan virgin
A: Never bin laid on.
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Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons?
A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
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A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island.
After one month the woman says:
"I can not proceed in this way."
And she suicides herself.
After another month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they bury the woman.
The next month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they dig up the woman.
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Joke has 21.56 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, desert island, disgusting, navy
How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
His hand slipped.
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Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
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Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
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The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex.
But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
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