Q: Did you hear her eyes were blue?
A: Yeah, one blew this way, one blew that way...
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A single car crash kills a Mexican family.
15 people died.
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Why did Hitler committed a suicide? He received the bill from Gazprom.
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I'm so broke, I don't even get excited when I find money because I'm sure I owe it to someone.
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What do you call a nun in a wheel chair?
Virgin mobile.
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I saw a girl crying, so I asked her "Where are your parents?" and she started crying even more.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.
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What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?
Their last big hit was The Wall.
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Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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Old man: "Can you give me an erection?"
Faith Healer: "I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I can even cure cancer. But, I'm sorry I cannot raise the 'dead'."
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A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken.
The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
A man with no legs is lying on the beach, when three attractive blondes approach him. The first blonde says to him "I bet you've never been hugged before."
The legless man shakes his head.
Then the second blonde says, "I bet you've never been kissed before."
The legless man shakes his head again.
Then the third blonde says, "I bet you've never been fucked before."
The legless man says, "No."
The third blonde replies, "Well you are now because the tide is coming in!"
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