Q: Did you hear her eyes were blue?
A: Yeah, one blew this way, one blew that way...
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My grandfather can no longer do the things he loved to do as a teenager.
Flying planes, bombing Germans...
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Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV?
A: His son running away with your VCR.
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A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?"
His friend nods. "Sure."
"Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..."
He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin.
His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment.
"Dude, that is not cool."
The doctor, indignant, defended himself.
"What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients."
His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."
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What's the good part of there being no blacks on the Jetsons?
It means the future will be great!
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In a monastery senior sister announces to other sisters:
I have a good and a bad news for you.
The good one is that they have broughts to use a lot of carrots.
All the sisters start whistling happily.
But one of them asks:
What are the bad news?
Carrots came grated.
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The other day a friend and myself decided to try out an aerobics video because we were both feeling very unfit.
We put the tape in and started to copy the movements.
After a few minutes we had chopped each other's arms off with chain-saws.
It was only then that we realized that I had accidentally put "Psycho Killers III" in the video by mistake!
How we laughed!!!!
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They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach.
But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
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Q: What is height of Suicide?
A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
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Patient: “Doctor, Doctor… I can’t stop stealing things”.
Doctor: “Take these pills for a week. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have a color TV”.
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Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing?
A: He didn't have any arms.
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