Q: Did you hear her eyes were blue?
A: Yeah, one blew this way, one blew that way...
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Similar jokes
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Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'?
- Because black people have no rights..
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What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
Popeye almost killed him!
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Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
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One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other.
The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys.
If you don't believe this joke is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.
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"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?"
"First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
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Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's?
He always burns the franks.
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While examining the the body of Mr. Schwartz, a mortician notices that Schwartz has the largest penis he has ever seen.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz," says the mortician, "But I can't send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity."
The mortician removes the penis, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he decides to show it to his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he says, removing the jar from his briefcase.
"Oh my God!" she screams, "Schwartz is dead!"
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Q: How many dead babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
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So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
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Seven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria.
One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides.
When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), stood up, bent over and squeezed his chest.
This caused a huge gush of green liquid to spew all over the table; the other six immediately began to eat this green liquid.
I think a lot of food went uneaten that night.
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