I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today.
Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
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An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first?
The apple because the rope catches the black person.
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What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!
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Late in the night he regained consciousness.
He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.
He realized he'd obviously been in a serious accident.
She gave him a deep look straight into the eyes, and he heard her slowly say, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your tits, then?"
That, my friends, is a positive attitude!
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Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing?
A: He didn't have any arms.
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Did you hear about the cannibals who captured a scrawny old hunter?
It sure gave them something to chew over.
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My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
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Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead.
I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
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What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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When you were in the gang then, you just had to look cool, just walk around and look like you were tough.
Someone started talking about fighting -- 'No, man, I've got to go home.'
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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men?
A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
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