I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today.
Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
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How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
Stick a javelin through it's head.
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What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away.
As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall.
They hear a faint moan.
They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for 10 more years and then dies.
They have another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
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Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies?
A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
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An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years.
He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak.
His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail.
He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father."
The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed"
At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house.
A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed."
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Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?
A: It's when the blind try to read your face.
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Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident?
A: Some dick cut her off.
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What's red and crawls up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
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Q: Where does a black jew go?
A: The back of the oven.
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Joke has 39.86 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, jewish, morbid, racist
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!
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