I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea? A good start.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks. The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here." The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is bloody low down"
Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel? A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog. When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other "I don't like your friend." The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.