Why shouldn't white people go swimming?
Because crackers get soggy when wet.
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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman working on the top of a cliff. The Englishman said, "If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off this cliff."
The Scotsman said, "If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff."
The Irishman said, "If I have ham tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff."
The next day, the Englishman had cheese, the Irishman had ham, and the Scotsman had jam. So they all jumped.
At the funerals, the wives of the Scotsman and Englishman said, "Why didn't they just tell us they didn't like their sandwiches?"
The Irish lady said, "I don't know why my husband jumped off the cliff. He made his own sandwiches."
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Why are there no mexicans on star trek?
They don't work in the future either.
How to tell who is Jewish in your class, drop a penny and see who gets their first.
Q: What do you do when your computer gets wet?
A: Put it in a bowl of rice, an Asian will show up and they will fix it.
What did Zimbabweans have before candles?
Electricity.
Q: What's faster then a black guy running down the street with your TV?
A: His brother behind him with the VCR.
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An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest.
He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it’s about.
"Why do you wear your collar backwards?" The old Jewish man asks.
The Priest, being polite, responds, "Well, Sir, because I’m a father."
"I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal."
"Yes," the Priest begins, "but I am father of many."
The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don’t know most their names, and still my collar isn’t backwards."
The priest, aggitated, slams his fist in his palm "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!"
The elderly Jewish man, beweildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."
Q: Why do black people lean to the center of their car?
A: They think the smell is coming from the outside.
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Why do black people have nice shoes and nice cars but not nice houses?
Because they haven't figured out how to steal houses yet!
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