A guy walked into his friend’s office.
He found his friend sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.
"Hey, what’s up with you?," he asked.
"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She’s hired a new secretary for me."
"Well, nothing wrong in that," he said, "Is she blonde or brunette?"
"Neither. He’s bald."
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Confucius say, man who fart in church sit in own pew.
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A. Both of them.
A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend".
"Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"?
After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve?
A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Q. How do men define a long-term relationship?
A. A second date.
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."
Ladies and Gentlemen, if there is anybody here who is feeling, worried, nervous or apprehensive it is probably because you just married John.
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you. You've broken your finger!"