How many men would it take to mop a floor?
No one knows; they've never done it. 
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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.
A woman didn't come home one night.
The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends.
None of them knew anything about it.
A man didn't come home 1 night.
The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house.
The wife called her husband's 10 best friends.
8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.
Men come in three sizes:
Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!
Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?"
"Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?"
The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested.
After that, He creaed man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years.
After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words.
"Cold floors," he says.
They nod and send him away.
Seven more years pass.
They bring him back in and ask for his two words.
He clears his throats and says, "Bad food."
They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass.
They bring him in for his two words.
"I quit," he says.
"That’s not surprising," the elders say.
"You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here."
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Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me..."
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A. One - men will screw anything.
B. One - men will screw up anything.
C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
Vote: