How many men would it take to mop a floor?
No one knows; they've never done it. 
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There were three guys in a bar.
Two are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives.
The third remains silent.
After a while, one of the first two turned to the third and says, "Well... what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"
"Well, on our honeymoon, I made damn sure my wife came to me on her hands and knees," he bragged and took another sip of beer.
His friends were amazed!
"What happened then?" they asked, almost in unison."
"Well, then she said, "Get the hell out from under that bed and fight like a man!" he admitted.
Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed.
When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job.
Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!
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Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women?
A: men have an antenna!
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How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
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Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash.
Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill.
"Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.
How do you know if your man is dead?
The sex is the same, but there's less ironing.
Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: Pussy.
Son: I don't get it.
Dad: Exactly...
Q:What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A:Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears and Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.
How do you know a man is really a bad dancer?
When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.