Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in the way that they are looking forward to it.
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Q: What do you call a woman with no a**hole?
A: Divorced.
Practical thought:
A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes.
A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...
Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life."
He came fifth and received a toaster.
If my main parachute doesn't open and my reserve parachute doesn't open, how long till i hit the ground?
The rest of your life...
A boss took one of his employees to show his new sports car.
"That is amazing" the employee was fascinated.
"That is true" replied boss "and if you set your new goals higher and work even harder I can get an even better car next year".
Q: What’s the definition of a pessimist?
A: A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
The fastest dialog in the world:
(WC door is opening)
Man inside: Heyyy!
Man outside: Sorryyy!
Why does Rick Ross rap about cars when he cant fit in them.
Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.