Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights. His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
Chuck Norris built the hospital in which he was born.
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
Chuck Norris CAN play on broken strings.
Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.