Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.