Chuck Norris kissed a girl once.
She's still blushing, we call her Sun.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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Love is one way to get to a persons heart the other is Chuck Norris' fists.
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo.
They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen.
There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital.
Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day.
“Are you hurt?” she asks.
She replies, “Of course I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!”
The Swiss army uses a Chuck Norris knife.
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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Chuck Norris traveled around the world in 60 milliseconds.
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Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
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Chuck Norris can make a rock grow.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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