Joke #12127

Chuck Norris kissed a girl once. She's still blushing, we call her Sun.

Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.

Love is one way to get to a persons heart the other is Chuck Norris' fists.

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you’ve made women so beautiful?" God replies: "So you can love them, my child." "Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?" "So that they can love you back, my child...!"

Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.

Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.

An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father." The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed" At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house. A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed."

I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.

Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.

What do you spell if you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris's name. Nothing, because you can't mess with Chuck Norris.