Chuck Norris kissed a girl once.
She's still blushing, we call her Sun.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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Love is one way to get to a persons heart the other is Chuck Norris' fists.
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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R. Lee Ermey's war face is the face he made when he saw Chuck Norris ready to attack.
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A professor and a doctor both love the same girl.
Each one tries to get rid of the other.
Once, it so happened that the professor had travel out of the country for a week.
Before leaving, he gave his girlfriend seven apples and asked her to eat one every day while he was not there.
When asked why, he replied,"Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."
When our air conditioner broke down, we called for a serviceman to come and take a look at it.
It turned out to be a high school classmate of my husband's named Love.
He said next time we needed any repairs to ask for him.
The next year when we needed service again, we requested Mr. Love.
I took the day off from work and waited for him to arrive.
After he had worked on our air conditioner, he left his work order behind.
It had my name and said: "Wants Love in afternoon."
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I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards".
I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove?
About a half an hour...
Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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